Conscious Spiritual Sex

Healing Love

For  Millennia the Taoists have viewed our sexuality as a sacred part of ourselves. They recorded an understanding of human sexuality as a spiritual tool.  Taoist practice informs us how to use sexual energy to it's optimum.  When our sexual natures are seen as inextricably linked from our spiritual nature we are able to move beyond the mundane in our sexual lives and experience new realms of wonder. Taoists see sexual energy as the fuel for spiritual energy and development. 

Learning to embrace our sexuality is about having a healthy relationship with ourselves. This is quite easy to understand when you look at the potential to heal and progress spiritually with the common human experience of Love.  When you are full of virtue energy, your energy body is awakened and the flow of energy is open. You start to experience your body as a conduit for enjoyable and pleasurable spiritual sexual energy, this is a spiritual experience because frustration (blocked, toxic and stagnating energy) is replaced with flow.  

We have moved from an era where sexual norms were dictated by the Church to one dictated by norms set by the porn industry and Hollywood. We are sexual beings and will always express ourselves sexually, or be making ourselves ill by battling our sexuality.  If we repress our sexual energy, it just becomes toxic and this is why there is so much abuse in the religious institutions.

Taoists advocate approaching sexual experiences slowly and gently. When your energy body is awake, there is plenty of sensation. If you try going slowly, feeling every millimitre, every second, you will actually start to activate your energy body as your sensitivity increases.  

Eventually you will actually find yourself able to make love without touching the person. When you are in tune with the forces of divine masculine (yang) and feminine (yin) within yourself, you will find you can make love with the universal spiritual forces just by focusing your mind and connecting with the cosmos.  

It is possible to transform from a place of requiring more and more stimulation to one where you will find that just sitting still together with your beloved while making love is all you need for your meridians to activate and to experience the most intense pleasurable full body orgasm experience. In this position, the reflex points of the genitals (like foot reflexology, see the diagram is below) will line up and your Heart area will be by theirs, your Kidney area will be touching, and so one. This is said to be the most healing way to make love.

Yin and Yang

Healing Love practices allow lovers to exchange energy, in particular yin and yang energies which can be harmonised through the love making experience.


Connecting with another soul, feeling love, is the basic spiritual human experience.  Love for ourselves, our partner and friends enables us to heal ourselves and to love and heal the world.

The Foundation of Working with Sexual Energy

Cultivate your own energy first

Before working with sexual energy it is essential to balance, purify and activate your own energy first.  This can be done through Taoist Inner Alchemy practices. The reason it is so important to do this is because any emotions that you have will be amplified. Taoists observed that sexual energy does two things: it amplifies and it binds. You don't want to practice Sexual Alchemy with bits of anger stagnating in your Liver or fear in you Kidneys.

Also, the microcosmic orbit should be opened for chi to flow upwards. Think of the channel up the spine (Du Mai) as a blocked tube. You start to open it by pouring water through. That's moving chi through your microcosmic orbit.  When you work with jing energy (sexual energy) imagine that is like pouring honey through the tube. Use the chi (water) to clear the blockages from the tube before working with jing, to avoid the jing hitting a blockage, often in the Heart, and diverting into the Liver which causes sickness and volatile emotions.  Once you have achieved understanding of working with your inner energy, working with sexual energy is a logical progression.

The Inner Smile & Six Healing Sounds

These are essential for you to understand and master your emotional state and understand the relationships between the organs and emotions.  Practice this regularly.

The Microcosmic Orbit

You need to open your microcosmic orbit and feel the chi running through it.  Then you will have a good passage for the jing you are working with to travel up to your brain.

Love making the Taoist way

How to seduce a Goddess

Here are some tips about Taoist lovemaking to keep you busy until your energy field starts to awaken.

Connection is the key to any sexual relationship and you need to connect: spiritually, intellectually and verbally before you think about anything else. This can take time and give it all the time it needs.
Rushing in can just spoil things. If you value your relationship give it all the space and time it needs to develop. The more you give her space the more you seem in control and the more she respects you. Once you have connected on these levels you are ready to connect at the Heart level. For best results, this should happen before physical contact.  
For example sleeping in bed with her while not making any moves will make her feel safe, and the more she feels safe the more she will be herself and the more she will open  and the Goddess that she is will be revealed to you. One Taoist text recommends to spend 3 months sleeping in bed together before you have physical sex, in order to allow your energy to start vibrating together.
Follow her lead and don't push for the physical without connecting first. Women don't do well sexually under pressure, they just switch off. Don't complain if she does not orgasm, its not her fault, and probably not your style either, just the energy was not right. Women are very sensitive to energy and if your thoughts are just about getting sex or having an ejaculation, women can feel this and shut down.
Once you are ready to connect with the Heart, there are many ways to do this. It is important that you love yourself or you will not have any love to give. Start with these exercises:

Generate Self Love

Sit back and relax, breathe naturally and smile to yourself. Feel your body warming and filling with chi as you relax. Feel good. Look into your Heart and smile to your heart, tell your Heart 'I love you' and give yourself permission to love yourself. Your Heart is the source of Love Energy in your body, and once you have given yourself permission to love, let your Heart shine with Love and let that Love fill your body, every cell, let the vibrations of love fill each atom of your being, healing your body, filling and healing your aura. Once you are so full of Love that it is overflowing, you are ready to give love. 

Share Love

Once you have enough Love that you can share it, sit with your beloved. The eyes are the doorway to the soul, and look into her eyes, connect with her.  Do this for a while and you can also put your hands over each others Hearts and connect in this way. Feel your souls connecting on a deep and primal level. You could also sit with your hands facing each other just an inch apart and feel the energy.  When you are ready, you can both let your spirits rise up above your heads, connect and dance together, feel them dancing and intertwining in harmony.

Create Intimacy

Activate the Energy

Start with a gentle embrace, hold her and make her feel secure in your presence.  Take it slow, enjoy and feel the vibrations around you: hers, yours, and your energies combined. When two people are intimate another entity comes into existence, a manifestation of their energies. Remember most women are dealing with various levels of trauma relating to men, whether these be in their lifetime, from past lives or ancestral, there are 5000 years of subjugation, these are powerful forces that can make women on edge.  If you want to bring out the Goddess in her, get her to relax to the maximum so she can heal these traumas.

Start to gently caress her skin and take your time, caressing each part of the body in turn. The more gentle you are, the more she will become sensitive as you awaken her energy body. Start with extremities and make sure that what you are doing is relaxing her. There is a science to this if you learn about the meridians and energy flow, and more about that at a later date, but for now, follow your Heart.

You may spend several sessions at this level to fully enjoy and bask in each others company.

Set the Mood

Pleasant smells, ambient lighting and a nice environment help to relax your beloved and prepare for lovemaking. Make sure she feels like you have her whole attention, that you will not be disturbed and that mobile phones are off.

Heart Connection

Make sure you keep the energy field of your Heart strong with self love and connect this with your sexual energy at all times.  Visualise this to actualise it.


Taoist Terminology:

Jade Gate: Vagina Entrance

Jade Temple: Vagina

Jade Stalk: Penis

Entering the Jade Palace

By this point she will be very aroused but still don't rush. By encouraging her to take it easy, you will make yourself seem in control, trustworthy and reliable and she will let go and relax even more.  Taoist texts say to approach the jade gate (vagina entrance) only once it is externally wet.  This should be done initially with the hands, stroking the labia in circular motions, which acts as a reflexology massage for the organs.  Caress around the clitoris very gently and it will be more arousing for her, take the time and slowly massage the whole external area.  You can be right by the entrance for a long time.  At this point using the tongue and mouth to stimulate the yoni, for example gently sucking on the lips and clitoris, would be appropriate.  The tongue connects directly to the Heart.  She may wish to suck on your jade stalk (penis) so allow her to do this if she wishes.  For the ladies, here, you can gently stimulate the glans with your tongue, which will stimluate his Heart. When the jade gate is ready to be entered, there is a sucking reflex and you can feel this activate.

Genital Reflex Zones

We have reflex areas in our gentials corresponding to the organs, just like foot reflexology.  For example, the entrance of the vagina relates to the Kidneys.  If you have done the six healing sounds you will know fear can get trapped in the Kidneys, and the same holds true for the Kidney area.  Massage to release the fear here before your enter.

We Store Trauma in our Genitals

Sexual healing is about releasing the trauma in our genitals.  As you stimulate these areas you can release this trauma, and if you provide a safe platform for her to release this, you will be able to experience her at her optimum in every way.


Approaching the Temple

Sacred Space

Entering the jade palace is going into the most primal of temples, the original spiritual sacred space of divine worship. This needs to be done with the greatest reverance for the divine in both it's masculine and feminine forms.


Your Tongue

The tongue is directly connected energetically to the Heart and is perfect for stimulation of the Jade Gate.  Also, touch tongues and suck on her lips for extra pleasure and in this way your microcosmic orbits connect. 

Prepare the Jade Gate

Rub the end of the Jade Stalk on the ouside of the Jade Gate and prepare the entrance, slowly and gently caressing it.  Take plenty of time to enter, savouring every millimitre and enjoying every moment.  Move slowly and feel the vibrations.

Enter the Temple

One of my favourite ways to start making love is sitting face to face with my beloved and rub his Jade Stalk on my Jade Gate and then slowly lie back and allow the head to penetrate.   I would then start with some slow and shallow penetration, savouring every millimetre and moment.  Another might be to go on top and start to penetrate just the head, rising up and down slowly on top.  This is really the best moment for the woman to take control because she naturally has the best rhythm.

Starting slowly is the key to Taoist lovemaking as it aims to extend the lovemaking process. Taoist lovemaking involves a lot of shallow penetration mixed with deep penetration.  Done right this has the effect of making the yoni grab at the penis which is intensely pleasurable for both lovers.

Shallow Penetration

Using shallow penetration is a hallmark of Taoist lovemaking. As strange as it might sound it is really pleasurable when mixed in the right way with deep penetration.  The Jade Gate is the most sensitive part and will involuntarily start to grasp at the Jade Stalk which is intensely pleasurable for both partners.

Connecting Hearts

The stronger the connection between the Heart and genitals, the more pleasurable the love making will be.  That means the more love there is the more fun you will have and you really can't beat that.  A lot of sexual dysfunction comes down simply to a lack of connection with the Heart which can easily be transformed by opening the Heart.

Did you know that certain sexual positions can actually heal our bodies?  To find out more about sexual healing and to learn about other parts of Taoist practice, use my contact form.