Sexual Alchemy for Men

The process of sexual alchemical transformation for men is a journey of deep healing, love, spiritual connection.  It's about discovery of a new and deep sensual experience that most people never imagined was possible. It is a journey from a state of only experiencing the physical to learning to connect with the energetic and experience life on multiple dimensions. Modern societal portrayal of male sexuality limits men's understanding of their own sexuality to thinking that ejaculation is the ultimate experience, and yet this is the death of love making.

Ejaculation is a release, but also a loss of energy.  This energy can be multiplied, spread through the body and amplified, not just for increased sensual pleasure but to heal and to connect to deep spiritual experiencess.  It takes you into unimaginable realms of exploration. The urge to ejaculate and release comes from a build up of negative energy in the body, but when you learn to transform negative energy into vital energy, sexual experience become a long drawn out orgasmic wave as your energy starts to move up your body instead of being stuck in your genitals desperate for release. In this way you can experience full body and multiple orgasms. The orgasmic energy that spreads around your body is extremely healing and opens you up to deeper spiritual connection with the Universal energy.  This is because in a state of heightened orgasmic experience the pineal gland is activated to produce DMT and connect with spiritual realms. 

True Orgasms

There is a common misconception that the genital spasm and reflex of ejaculation is all that an orgasm amounts to for men.  Men can experience continuous full body multiple orgasms if they learn to channel their jing (sexual energy) up the spine into the brain and around their body.  With the help of physical and energetic exercises to start off the process, with practice you can learn to eliminate the need to ejaculate so that you can continue to make love to your partner for as long as she needs whilst orgasming many times, prolonging your own pleasure indefinitely. Learning to 'return the jing to feed the brain' has huge health benefits and increases your vitality and strength.  It is not the same as using self control (so called 'ejaculation control' or 'sexual continence') to stop ejaculating. This practice is about cultivating your energy flow so that ejaculation is not relevant because your energy channels are flowing properly, the energy is traveling up your body and manifesting as a full body orgasm.

Releasing negative Sexual Conditioning

In the  context of western society it is easy to fall victim to negative social conditioning and stereotypes. The pornography industry in particular reiterates negative sexual stereotypes that affect the way men feel about themselves and how they relate to women. Regularly watching pornography changes the brain patterns of men and reduces their ability to connect and feel pleasure. Sexism also reduces men's ability to connect with women and experience true bliss. Taoist love making is all about connecting: connection in yourself between your Heart and your sexual organs, and connection with your beloved. This is how sexual energy is able to heal. When positive sexual energy fills your whole soul and your being, the negative just does not fit anymore.


You As a Perfect Sexual Being

Feeling under pressure to perform to a standard that may be set in an alternative reality (porn/Hollywood) is confusing.  Nervousness blocks the Heart and interferes with loving sexual expression. The importance of the connection between lovers can be easily lost amidst the nerves. Taoist practices can heal this collective dysfunction that is the result of us all being sexualised and objectified, taking us away from our true meaning as sexual-spiritual beings.

Processing negative emotions and learning to circulate your chi, combined with Karsai self massage to open the circulation in the sexual area, increases the flow of energy to the sexual organ. Negative emotions trapped in the prostate gland cause an urgency to ejaculate and release the negativity which is never satisfied.  Opening your microcosmic orbit to allow the energy to rise and transform gives it an alternative route to travel and nourish your body instead of losing energy. Instead of just draining your resources in a never ending cycle of frustration, it is transformed and recycled in a practice known as returning the jing to feed the brain. This is an intensely energising experience that leaves you feeling clear headed, alert and strong.

Opening Your Heart

To be able to fully experience the depth of these transformative processes it is important to have an active energy field in your Heart. A woman's natural energy centre is in her Heart, and it's easy for her to open the Heart and operate from this level of love. For men, opening the Heart can be terrifying, and this is suspected to be a major factor in Heart disease (see Dean Ornish's research). The love of a woman can be very helpful, and there are also techniques that you can learn that can teach you to do this safely so that you stay in control and are not hurt.

Opening our Hearts can be really scary and that is why it is essential that it comes from a place of strong self love. You can start doing this by shutting your eyes, looking into your Heart, smiling to your Heart, telling your Heart 'I love you' and giving your Heart permission to love. Love is an energy and when activate it, this is a powerful energy to use to manifest in your life. Unfortunately we have all been told to love and give, but without that being from a place of strong self love, this will only be harmful. When your Heart energy is strong and you are giving yourself the love you need, the energy field of your Heart will be strong enough to keep you safe.

Self Cultivation of Energy for Men

All traditional Taoist meditation including that practiced by celibates involves some form of genital massage to release hormones into the body. Taoists have been accused of turning meditation into masturbation but the point of these practices is to transform sexual energy into spiritual energy. Mantak Chia actually teaches this practice to nuns to help them to get the most out of celibacy. The practices start a transformation process turning lust and frustration into love and spiritual connection, with yourself (between the Heart and sexual organs) with your beloved, and with the divine in all it's forms.

I am often approached by men who feel confused about their self as a sexual being. Sexual energy is often viewed as something that you just have to deal with and eliminate and there is a lot of guilt surrounding this. These negative emotions block the prostate gland and lead to frustration and an urgency to ejaculate. Learning to have a healthy relationship with your sexuality and to understand the spiritual connection means that this part of your life can become a medium for pure pleasure and spiritual connection.

Stimulating your sexual organs is like giving yourself a reflexology treatment. Nobody wants a bad reflexologist to overstimulate the wrong areas. Treat your sexual organ with the love and respect that it deserves and nurture it. Instead of turning your gaze outwards (to porn) turn it inwards and see what is really going on inside. Negative emotions and memories are often stuck in the prostate and sexual area. This what causes an urgency to stimulate and reduces sensitivity.

When you start to caress yourself gently, going over the different areas and seeing what energy is there, you might be surprised by the different sensations you can have. You may find shame, fear and anger stuck in certain areas and you can combine massaging with breathing to release this, as you would release a know in your back. When you tune in to your own energy you will find you are becoming much more sensitive and your body more pleasurable.

Taoists believe all parts of the body are sacred and in particular that the sexual aspect of the body is sacred and spiritual, a tool for us to heal ourselves and gain enlightenment. Taoism is about turning your gaze inwards and examining what is happening within, in particular energetically. As you remove emotional toxins from the body and open your microcosmic orbit using Taoist inner alchemy practices, you will open yourself up to a new experience of your sexuality.

Sexual energy must not be repressed, it will stagnate and become toxic. It needs to be channeled creatively and spiritually. As your microcosmic orbit and chakras open, your sexual energy will no longer be stuck in the genital area causing frustration, it will spread around the whole body giving a warm, glowing and pleasant feeling that is spiritual as much as it sexual, a calm and contented place of balance.

Taoists talk about the alchemical magic of combining sexual orgasmic energy vibrations with loving vibrations of the Heart and how this vibrates and heals at a the cellular level, as well as containing the potential for full body and multi orgasmic experiences replacing ejaculation. The Taoist practice of going from ejaculation to full body orgasmic experience is referred to as 'returning the jing to feed the brain' and involves taking sexual energy up the spine into the brain where is nourishes the brain, giving a clear headed feeling, before the practitioner returns the energy down his from to the area below the navel.

The difference between this and practices taught as tantra is that when you open the circuit, the process naturally happens. It is not about forcing something or going through an uncomfortable experience that can be quite harmful that many male practitioners of tantra do when they try 'sexual continence'. It's about going with the flow and gently starting the process. It is essential not to leave the energy in the brain but to store it in the tan tien. This eliminates unwanted side effects like headaches, tinnitus, lack of concentration, heat and feelings of discomfort in the body, kidney damage and even mental illness. I used to wonder while male practitioners of Taoism looked o great but those of tantra often looked really bad. It's the difference between the energetic practices. It's important to be grounded in the navel area rather than having energy up in the head or flying out the top of the head and being lost.

Taoists recommend some specific methods to massage the sexual organ for healing and vitality.  These include:

  1. 'Milk' or massage the length of the penis 72 times towards the glans only in order to renew and stabilise erections as well as to refine the shape.
  2. Squeeze the penis 72 times with the left hand until it becomes hard as rock to gain stronger erections.
  3. Swing the penis between the thighs, lightly hitting the legs with each stroke to stabilise and decrease need to ejaculate.
  4. Alternately squeeze and let go of the testicles to increase secretion of hormones to nourish the brain.
  5. Massage the pubic bone with the left hand, anti clockwise and then clockwise 81 whilst holding the testicles with the other hand to activate the lower tan tien.

You can also do this exercise:

  1. Inhale through the nose for seven seconds, tightening the pelvic floor firmly as you do so.
  2. Retain the breath for seven seconds, keeping the pelvic floor contracted. This balances the yin and yang forces in your body.
  3. Exhale through the mouth for seven seconds, gradually releasing the pelvic floor. This has a thoroughly detoxifying effect on the body.

This is a detoxifying and energy awakening practice which also serves to balance the yin and yang in your body.


I teach private and discreet sessions of Sexual Alchemy for singles and couples and am available for Skype consultations: