Once upon a time, somewhere and sometime; at one point we were in complete harmony and tranquillity. We were one soul, we were Tao, we were complete and perfect. Taoists say we existence as a spark of consciousness, but when we enter into the plane of physical existence, we go into shock. As a result, we refract into five spirits, and this is what produces (unbalanced) emotions. Yet we hold the memory of the tranquillity and peace of this other state and always long to return there.
As a result of the shock of becoming physical, we compensate and create an entity to protect us which is our ego. This is an alternative personality that is not our true self and we live through this personality as a protection mechanism. The search for healing and the quest for destiny thus are truly interlinked. Treating individual symptoms is merely chasing around the body what is essentially a spiritual problem.
Feelings are like intuition, a message coming directy from our heart and guiding us. When we are truly connected with our Hearts and follow our feelings we cannot go wrong. But we often make the mistake of confusing feelings with emotions.
Virtues are the positive energy vibrations that exist in our organs when they are functioning in balance. For example a balanced Liver will vibrate with kindness and a balanced Heart will vibrate with Love.
Emotions are out of balance vibrations produced by our organs when they are not functioning well. For example, a drinker who is damaging his Liver gets angry, a drug user damaging their Kidneys gets paranoid.
Dealing with Trauma
Shock or trauma is something that we all experience to varying degrees. Sometimes the experience is hidden away within our bodies and we cannot relate to it or process it. At this level of unconscious existence it has the potential to do the most harm, and it will show itself at times as the body attempts to eliminate it and heal.
Sometimes people can be deeply wounded by what seems like a minor incident, or may not understand where their trauma comes from. What is important is to address the experience, to acknowledge it and to find our true self where it has hidden to escape the pain, and connect with our original spirit. A big part is reconnecting with the Heart, rebalancing, and when we are ready, clearing out the emotional toxins that are blocking us.
Taoist practices offer a lot of support in this process. Inner Alchemy allows the body to process and balance emotions which gives you mastery over your life again. I have suffered with post traumatic stress, and found the sounds allowed me to make big shifts in my energy, and together with other work were very effective. From my own experience, trauma is a journey we have to face that is not easy. Sometimes meditation can seem meaningless in the face of reality, and therapies can seem pointless. Life is this experience we have to go through, it can be painful, sad and scary. These are all tools to access to strengthen ourselves. Trauma tears holes in our aura and divides our spirits. It's a process to recover that only an individual can find for themselves.
Storing emotions in our Bodies
When animals experience trauma they process and expel it immediately through breathing, making a sound and moving or shaking their bodies. Humans have developed the ability to store trauma in our bodies to deal with later. Society has grown up around this expectation not to express our traumas, and now we are a society of sick and traumatised people.
When a trauma becomes stuck in our bodies, first we experience pain. If left there, we will start to go numb. When we end in a state of numbness, the body is open for serious dis-ease to take over. There are many ways to get the emotional toxins out. Breathing, making sounds and body movement such as dancing, yoga and tai chi are great methods. We need to remove the traces of trauma and the associated vibrations from our bodies.
Emotions and Trauma
The traumas that are stuck in our bodies can manifest as memories and associated emotions. These can go in cycles and I find it really helpful to understand the Five Elements associations and understanding of the emotions as well as their relationship with each other. We might feel numb towards something, and then realise there is a ball of anger (Wood) we are afraid to approach because of societal convention relating to anger. Then when we look in that ball we might find sadness (Metal) and fear (Water) the underlying factors. I found that understanding the relationship of the emotions in the elements helped me to understand what was happening inside me, which organs were being affected. Then I would practice the healing sounds and found that not only did I feel better but pain was leaving my body.
Acknowledging and accepting our emotions without judgement is essential both to healing and to growing as a soul. They need to be experienced, observed and processed, and then we can collapse the story and move on. Without going through this process and experiencing emotions we cannot heal and the emotion will be stuck inside us. Ignoring our feelings is a form of spiritual bypass that will prevent healing and self development.
There are many methods to use to remove or transform the emotions, like the specific sounds used by the Taoists. Therapies are really useful to rebalance ourselves and remove vibrations of trauma. Emotional detox bodywork is a deep journey to remove the traumas and negativity that is stored inside us. Once we are clear of the traumas and associated emotions and vibrations, we simply stop vibrating at that frequency and so much changes. For example, if we are full of anger vibrations because we were abused in some way, we will resonate with anger and be angry, once this is removed we simply won't resonate at that frequency and that is why some people don't get angry, afraid and so on.
When I first started chi kung I loved it because it made me tough, strong and invincible, and made me feel like I could overcome everything. I realised at some point that although I was strong, my Heart was closed, it was not vibrating well. This is a common problem and many of my fellow chi kung practitioners were running away from their Hearts like me. Connecting with my Heart was a huge step that gave my enormous inner strength to be able to deal with life's journey. It's also an important step towards opening the flow of energy in the body. I found out that being open and vulnerable with a Heart vibrating with energy was stronger and more enjoyable than having a closed Heart for protection. This was not a stage I could have gone through earlier, I wasn't ready for it. But when it happened and I was able to open my Heart I realised that it was the final step to wholeness, and that it was reconnecting with my true self and my Tao.